Well what can I say. We got our 14-day eviction notice today. Sucks really thinking of my family of 6 out on the street, but that is where we are destined. Life should be good right now. I have a job, my son is graduating from cub scouts. We lost our housing and now are up a creek without a paddle. It is a struggle to get the current months rent out let alone the back rent. Then you add the utilities on to the picture, and trying to redeem all the bounced checks before one of us ends up in jail or owing even more.
I am not sure what to believe anymore. No matter what we just can't seem to catch a break. I just don't know what is real anymore. DW says she has conversations with certain individuals, and yet then seems to contradict herself later. I want to believe her but it is difficult. She herself admits there are times when she does things and doesn't remember doing them. Maybe she is honestly remembering doing things that she has not done as well. As much as I love her she can frustrate me sometimes. Simply writing a letter a day or two earlier then she did might have been the difference between us loosing our housing and getting it restored. She refuses to tell me when she makes a mistake because she is afraid I will get mad at her. She has actively chosen to lie to me rather then admit that there is a problem in the past. So now when I need her to be honest, and I need her to fight along side me to save our home, I cannot be certain she is doing either.
I feel so helpless, so very alone. Those who care, and would want to help haven't got the means to do anything. If God is trying to get my attention he can stop anytime 'cause he has it. I just do not know what more he wants of me.
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