Family

Family is important, at least that is what I was taught growing up. I come from a family of 5 brothers and sisters. I now have four of my own. Each cope with my disease in a little different way. I should point out as I think it is relevant that my wife has been diagnosed with depression also. This makes life terribly difficult for our children at times.

AG is our first born. She is 12 now. She struggles quietly without saying much. She is alot like I was as a child. Taking everything in, stewing over it, and lashing out periodically to relieve the pain. She is so quiet about life in general most of the time that I have to keep reminding myself, she is not imune to the effects of this disease. Just yesterday she threw one of her tantrums. When she was sent to her room for displaying her "attitude" she mumbled something about killing herself. Attention seeking behavior, possibly. Well it worked, she got attention all right. Actually we had a rather nice talk.

JB is the second oldest. He is a head strong, energetic, and very curious 11 year old boy. He also has ADHD and possibly depression too. He too has threatened suicide, and that was in first grade. He has no trouble expressing his emotions, and he does so often, and in extremes. He can be the most trying boy, or the sweetest. It all depends. The problem is telling what it depends on. He can go from being that sweet loving child to a holy terror with little notice or apearent provocation.

JG is our 4 year old girl. She addores her big brother. She is following in his foot steps. I do not know if you can learn to be ADHD or if it is a case of birds of a feather flock together. I think in many ways she has it the hardest of all. She tries so hard to fit in, to find her niche in the family. She also has a long memory particularly for promises.

RG is one. She is the baby in the family, literally at this point. She is VERY curious, and persistant. She has surprised us on more then one occasion with her problem solving skills. Typically it involves her attempts to get into something we are trying to keep her out of. If it can make a mess, and she can at all possibly get into it she will.

DW is my wife. As I have mentioned she is also a depression sufferer, and has been diagnosed with ADHD herself. We have been married for 15 years. It is the first marriage for either of us. Marriage is a hell of alot of work under the most ideal of situations. Add to it Depression, ADHD, financial issues (more on that later), and other issues it takes a miracle to survive. There in is the thing, I want more from life then survival. Right now it feels like I barely have that. If I don't have it how can I make sure my kids even have that much.