Good morning, well at least its morning for me. This is a new experiment for me. Oh I have journaled before, and even allowed select few to read my thoughts, but I have never done so in such a public forum. My intent here is to get away from the paper and pencil journal and go with something online. Two reasons, one I am frequently at the computer, and two I am infrequently found with a pen in my hand.
What is this Blog about, its about me. Its about Depression. Its about my dealing with my depression. My hope is that over time there will be growth, and hope, where right now there is darkness. Right now I am tired, having worked 9 hours last night. This is typically my late evening time, just before I go to bed. My wife is gone with 2 of our four kids. My oldest is at a friends house, and the baby is asleep in her crib.
My wife and I had a fight before she left. She assumed I would be staying up and planned on leaving the baby home with me. I had a rough and hard night and was planning on going to bed, and assumed she was taking the baby with her. I know my working nights is hard on the family, but right now there is little other choice. I suppose the fight could have been worse, as it seems to have resolved before she left. I think what upset me the most was the assumption that I would just watch her. Anyway my wife got upset, and she started to run water to give the baby a bath, so she could get her dressed to go. Acting the Martyr all the way. I got upset, and told her to just leave, that I would stay up, ok I too acted the martyr. She got upset even more, and started yelling at the other two kids. I got upset, and told her if she was mad at me that was fine, but dont take it out on them.
In the end we both backed off. Not quite sure exactly how that happened. She left with the two kids, and I siezed the oportunity to write my first entry.
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